Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
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