I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
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