it hurts more in the daytime
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
Randomize
