Don't you send me to vm
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
