he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
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