I seem to have left my pride at pride
birth control should be required to get into college
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
Randomize
