I want to make a zoo with you.
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
Randomize
