You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
