One girl and one boy is just not enough.
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
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