He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Randomize
