11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Randomize
