"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
Randomize
