i wish there were pregnant emoticons
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
Randomize
