Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
Randomize
