There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize