First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
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