I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
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at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
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I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
We need to know if his feet match his cock.