JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
Randomize
