Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
Randomize
