i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Randomize
