FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Randomize
