worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
