What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
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