He asked to "fluff my boner.."
The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Randomize
