i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Randomize
