the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
Randomize
