Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
