Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
two words...techno handjob
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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