We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
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