Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
