I faked an abortion last night.
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
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