now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
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