Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
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