At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
Randomize
