Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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