No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
I think my greatest accomplishment today was probably using a bottle opener to get the cap off my fourth drink while holding the cat WITHOUT dropping him.
Oh god, what has my life become?
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
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