i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Randomize
