So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God?
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
Oh god it's open bar.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
Randomize
