Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
Randomize
