Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Randomize
