what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.