Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
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