the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
Randomize
