She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
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