The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
Randomize
