We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
whose ass print is on the piano?
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
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