So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
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