Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
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