Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Randomize
