is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
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