No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
