so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Randomize
