hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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