My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize
