i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
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