Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
Randomize
