So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
Randomize
