Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
Randomize
