An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
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