so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
Randomize
