I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
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