The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
